


Stardust

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 05:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5654089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments from Revan's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [Gwiezdny pył](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664937) by [Bazylia_de_Grean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean)



The night is far from quiet. The Wookiees celebrate that they got rid of Czerka slavers, and the return of their chieftain, and the great forest of Kashyyyk never sleeps. But on the borders of the village it is peaceful, except for the occasional cry of a night bird or some other animal.

Good, because she needs peace more than ever. All that Jedi business still confuses her, perhaps as much as it perplexes and frustrates Carth. And the Force... The Jedi Masters talked of balance and peace, but to her the Force seems elusive, flowing through her one moment and slipping away in the other. Maybe it is simply a matter of concentration. She contemplates asking Jolee about it, but dismisses the thought – yes, it is clear he has been through a lot and seen much, but he is reluctant to talk, least of all to share his wisdom.

Confusing, that’s what the Force is. Confusing. So she tries to cling to what she knows, to familiar things. She is a scout, a soldier. A soldier, like Carth, fighting for the Republic. What does it matter if she uses a lightsaber now, instead of a blaster? She is a soldier.

There are quiet footsteps, and she can feel a presence – it is difficult to say what she noticed first. Carth stops a few paces away, at the edge of the light from the village, and she can feel his hesitation. They have fought together and worked together, but still they quarrel on a regular basis, he unable to brush his past experiences aside, and she unwilling to let the matter drop.

She nods at him, and he walks closer. There are two wooden cups in his hands. She accepts one, with a brief smile.

“Ale?” she asks, smelling the alcohol. “I thought Wookiees don’t drink.”

“I smuggled some from the ship,” Carth explains. He settles next to her, resting his elbows on the wooden railing, and sighs. “Look, sorry about earlier. It’s just...”

Usually, she is quick to tease and match him word for word, but not this evening. “It’s confusing,” she interrupts him gently. “I know. It’s confusing for me, too.”

He glances at her, lights and shadows playing on his face. There is something in his expression, in his eyes – as if deep inside, he still was that young, trusting man. Part of him wants to be, despite everything, she realises. But life has taught him otherwise.

There is a warm feeling blooming in her chest, fragile, fleeting, like this moment is. They have flirted and joked, yes, and sure, he is handsome, but this is something different. She wants to show that trusting side of him that it’s all right, that some people don’t betray, that...

“Is there something on my face?” Carth asks, raising his eyebrows, ruining the moment.

She tries not to laugh at that, but she can’t stop herself. “No, no. Sorry, it’s just...”

He smiles, hesitantly at first. “Just teasing, beautiful.”

“Way to compliment a woman, calling her beautiful when it’s so dark you can barely see,” she teases back.

Carth frowns, ready to explain, argue or apologise, and then his eyes meet hers and he laughs quietly, the sound low and unexpected, his shoulders shaking.

“I’ve seen you in broad daylight, too, you know,” he says at last.

She grins. “You’re not too bad yourself, flyboy.”

For a moment, they are quiet, the silence between them comfortable and soothing. She is the first to disturb that silence, but softly, not wishing to break it, but rather to let it wrap around them.

“Armistice?” she asks with a playful smile.

Carth sighs in exasperation. “Listen, I probably won’t stop arguing with you...”

“That’s fine.” She is trying very hard not to smile, the corner of her lips jerking up. “Friends argue, too.”

“Friends...” He looks at her, and there it is again, that trust, buried under all the disappointment. “It’s a big word. I don’t use big words easily.”

She smirks. “You don’t say...”

Carth shakes his head. “You’re the most persistent woman in the whole blasted galaxy...” He sighs. “All right, all right. If you’ve got enough patience to stick around for long enough, then I guess someday...” he lets the unsaid big words hang in the air.

“I didn’t mean right now,” she explains. “But you know, I’m patient. And persistent.” She winks. “Seems you’re stuck with me for now, flyboy.”

A smile is tugging at Carth’s mouth. “Not necessarily a bad place to be, beautiful.”

Somewhere, a bird calls. The wind wakes, moving the leaves and smallest branches, whistling softly among the ancient trees.

“So,” Carth raises his cup, “to our small victory?” He doesn’t say whether he means what they had accomplished on Kashyyyk or their agreement.

And suddenly the Force is flowing thought her, and she is at peace, truly serene, seeing the forest around them that is both darker and not as dark as it seems, and then she looks up, into the sky full of stars, and it feels as if the light trickles down into her, into her thoughts and blood, and she can see the lines of fate written clearly across the vastness of space. She can feel the Force binding the galaxy together, wroshyr trees and the Wookiees, night and day, ground and sky, shadows and stars, and countless lives... And her and Carth, on the little walkway somewhere in the forests of Kashyyyk.

“To the future,” she suggests, with a smile.

Carth nods slowly, his eyes reluctant to leave her face. “To the future.”


	2. Chapter 2

Korriban is dust, old – ancient – whispers, and despair, howling among rock and tombs in the wind. She feels it, sifting through her fingers in the sand, feels it in every breath of the dry, harsh air. Korriban is a broken world, and now it breaks everything that touches it, everyone that sets foot here.

The Sith do not scare her, the darkness does not scare her. She is wary and cautious, yes, but not afraid. What scares her is that Korriban feels _familiar_ , despite the fact that she has never been there. Something on the planet calls to her, something she cannot locate or understand. There is just a distant, vague warning echoing in the Force, and she is terrified.

Sleep does not find her easily these days – nights. Usually, when she get up and walks out onto the rock terraces near the academy, she is alone. Listening to the wind, listening to the Force, trying with all her will to understand, but there is nothing. Nothing but doubt, creeping into her thoughts like sand getting under her clothes.

Sometimes, Jolee goes out there, too. She does not ask, but he probably knows anyway. He must know, she thinks one night when he gives her a long, thoughtful look. What are you, his eyes seem to say, light, dark or something else? Who are you here, of all planets? I am me, she thinks defiantly, light, or at least striving to be so. She is certain of her answers, but still she shivers, because there are moments when it seems like the shadows move closer, fluid like water.

Once or twice, she meets Carth out there, but their easy – well, easier, at least – camaraderie is gone, and the silence between them is no longer comfortable. Carth has just found out that his son is alive and joined the Sith, and he has no idea what to do with that. But he wants, needs to do something, because that is how he is, always trying to do something, to do the right thing. And now it seems that he had failed in that, that all his efforts had been in vain. It pains her to see him like that – she can feel his grief resounding in the Force – but she has no right to ask, and she does not know what to say to make things better. No words can make it better, she thinks, only action, and that is what they are trying to do. Something. Hoping it will be enough.

Korriban. Dust, dread, despair. And the tombs of ancient Sith lords, vortexes of darkness among the shadows veiling the planet. She goes into those tombs, lightsaber in her hand and thoughts of good things in her mind, her weapons against the dark.

And then she descends into the tomb of Ajunta Pall, expecting pitch black darkness... and does not find it. Instead, there is regret and remorse, and grief, ages-deep. There is darkness, too, but it only makes that single drop of light stand out against it more clearly. She wonders whether that is enough, she wonders if regret is enough, and how many centuries of suffering are an adequate penance for the first Sith lord, for the one who started it all... And then it suddenly dawns on her that the judgement is not hers to make.

So she focuses on here and now, on the pain that she can feel, on that terrible loneliness emanating from Ajunta Pall’s ghost, anguish so breathtaking she cannot even truly imagine it, because it would take ages to understand... And then, somehow, she feels a connection. He had been a Jedi once, she thinks. Everyone can fall.

And then, looking into the spirit’s bottomless eyes, she thinks that perhaps it also means that everyone can rise again. Is that possible? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know. But her compassion does not allow her to give Ajunta Pall any other answer.

There is silence, as if the galaxy was holding its breath, and then the spirit disappears in a flash of light, and there is a feeling of deep peace. She didn’t know. But now she does.

Korriban. Dust, dread, despair... and hope, found in the deepest darkness. She soaks in that feeling, tries to fill her heart with it, carries that light out of the tomb, swears to herself never to forget it and carry that light to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, wherever fate – or the Force – will guide her.

Jolee glances at her, interest flashing in his gaze. And then, very slowly, he smiles.


End file.
